Blackberry Addictions
by kandylicous
Summary: Really Forehead..It's simple math. Naked Sakura plus Horny Men equals Mad Sasuke. Sasuke x Sakura One Shot. RR. Slight AU


_**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**_

_**Blackberry Addictions: **_

**Summary:** _"Really forehead ,It's simple math. Naked Sakura + Horny Men = Mad Sasuke."_

_"ITALICS" - INNER THOUGHTS , FLASH BACKS_

"NORMAL" TALKING

_**BOLD ITALICS -INNER SAKURA**_

** You have been warned this fan fiction contains some crack and profanity_._**_**  
**_

* * *

_"Sasuke-kun."_ A sexual moan filled the room._  
_

The mentioned Uchiha turned his head to the owner of the melodious voice. He raised an eyebrow and looked up at his long time wife. The curvaceous goddess laid in their king sized bed with white sheets wrapped around her body. Her long tresses fanned out on the pillow beneath her head. A seductive grin made it's way onto her pretty face.

_"Come play with me,Sasuke-kun."_

Sasuke let out a sigh and went back to pushing buttons on his new love,his _BlackBerry._

_"SASUKEEE - KUN!" _

"Hn."_  
_

_"You don't love me!"_

"Ah."

_"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!"_

"Shut up, Sakura."

"FUCK YOU , SASUKE!" Sakura screeched as she jumped up and down on the bed, the couple shared;the bed sheets getting ruined in the process. The raven haired man let out a grunt and stood up from the edge of their bed and sat down Indian style on the floor.

Sakura gaped like a fish at her husband, usually when she insulted him , he would argue back and do some _pretty physical activities_ with her. This time he had bluntly ignored her. The pink haired girl stopped jumping on the bed and hopped onto the floor. She pulled a scrunchy out of a drawer and tied her hair up into a high pony tail. Her emerald eyes hardened as she stared at her raven haired lover's Black Berry.

Sakura didn't know what that cellular device had that she didn't. First of all she was a woman. _A pretty damn , hot girl with luscious breasts and a sexy ass. _Second of all, she was hours of fun. Last but not least, Sasuke _couldn't have sex_ with a Black Berry, it wasn't human!

The couple hadn't been sexually active for weeks, since Sasuke got his new Black Berry and it was killing Sakura. The emerald eyed girl couldn't help but feel sexually frustrated, her husband was_ extremely_ talented between the sheets.

Whatever that Black Berry had, Sakura was determined to beat it and get her husband's undivided attention back.

_"Bring it on bitch! IT'S WAR!"_ The pink haired girl exclaimed before slapping her self for her mental slip. She watched her husband look up at her as if she had grown another head.

"You're annoying."

"Hm. Fuck you too, Sasuke-kun, I'm going to go make lunch."

_"Hn. You can't cook naked, Sakura."_

Glare.

* * *

Four women were gossiping uncontrollably in a gorgeous little cafe on the east side of Konoha. It was about a twenty minutes walk from the Uchiha quarters. The young women had a table for four reserved for them and the waiters had already delivered delicious pastries to the beauties. A pink haired girl smacked her head against the white cafe table in agony. The other girls with her rolled their eyes at how dramatic she was.

_"and then he called me ANNOYING!"_

Sakura sipped on her iced tea as she re-told her morning encounter with Sasuke. The other girls had told her to dump his sorry ass, but Sakura insisted that they could work things out between the two of them.

"Ne, Saku-chan, our husbands were like that to, when they got their phones." TenTen chirped in as she fixed her dark blue jean shorts. The brown haired woman smiled and took a bite out of her delicious chocolate cupcake.

The pink haired girl looked at TenTen, Ino and Hinata with admiration in her eyes, "Were they addicted to them like Sasuke?"

Ino let out a manly snort, Sakura couldn't help but laugh at her best friend "Actually forehead, Shika's to lazy to even use his."

"Naruto-kun, broke his, the day he got it." Hinata calmly stated as it if were a fact. Naruto and technology never really got along. The lavender eyed woman blushed. Sakura looked her sister in law in the eyes. The pink haired girl couldn't help but giggle at her best friend.

"Oh my, that's so Naruto. What can I say, my brother was always retarded with technology." Sakura said as she gestured a waiter over to clear their table of all it's dirty dishes. A timid man with dark brown hair, complied with Sakura's demand as he quickly noted that it was _"Sakura Uchiha"_ he was dealing with and rushed over to the table. The pink haired girl eyed the man's name tag.

"Akiro, please take these dishes away."

"Hai, Uchiha- Sama."Akiro stated before politely bowing down to the pink haired powerhouse and the other three women with her. No human being wanted to face the wrath of Sakura's viscous cold hearted husband. If Sakura wasn't treated the right way, Sasuke would make sure a Chidori made it's way up your ass.

"Sakura-chan, do you and Sasuke still have sex?" TenTen asked after she had sure that no one was listening. Akiro had disposed of their dishes and left the women all alone.

"WE HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING FOR WEEKS! This morning I tried and he ignored me! Kami! He even takes his Black Berry into the shower!" The pink haired girl pulled at her locks frantically. A few random people gazed at Sakura's outburst and then resumed back to what they were originally doing.

"I think I'm going crazy!"

"Sakura-chan you're not crazy._ You're just different._" Hinata looked over at TenTen ,who looked over at Ino;the blond haired woman, who was grinning like a madman.

"Oi, Forehead, If Sasuke won't pleasure you, why not find some else to?"

The emerald eyed girl looked at her best friends like they were crazy, "I'm not going to have sex with another man."

Ino slammed her fist down on the table , "YOUR HUSBAND'S ADDICTION HAS GONE TO FAR!"

A sweat drop made it's way down the side of Sakura's head, "No, aren't you being just a tad bit, over dramatic?"

"NO. It's time to implement plan HSUFSUIOHBB!"

Hinata and TenTen stood up next, to Ino as she placed her hand on her hip. Sakura mentally noted that Hinata and TenTen seemed to know what plan HSUFSUIOHBB was.

"Hai! Ino-chan!"

Sakura smacked her head against the table yet again. The pink haired girl swore she was going to get a bruise from all the head banging she had been recently doing.

"Can I ask a question?"

"Yes. Sakura-chan." The three chirped in unison.

"What's plan HSUFSUIOHBB?"

"It stands for, Have Sasuke Uchiha Fuck Sakura Uchiha Instead Of His Black Berry."

The pink haired girl let out a groan, her friends were fucking morons! "Did it have to be that specific?"

"YES, now BREAK!" The girls let out a hoot before dramatically jumping out of the shop, leaving Sakura alone. A loud THUD, snapped the girl out of her trance. The pink haired girl heard the voices of her friends from a distance.

_"INO , DON'T LITERALLY BREAK SOMETHING!"_

_"Aye ya, that bike was in my way."_

_"Maybe your just to fat to safely land on ground?"_

_"SHUT UP TENTEN-CHAN!"_

Sakura smiled to herself. Her best friends definitely were idiots.

* * *

_"TEME!"_

"Hn."

_"I love you."_

"Ah."

"KAMI SAMA, HE'S ADDICTED! Teme , _sex!_ GO HAVE SEX!" Naruto screeched as he threw kunai's at his best friend slash brother in law. Sasuke skillfully dodged the projectiles while typing on his new love.

"That's it! I LOST ALL HOPE IN YOU SASUKE! I don't know why my sister married you!"

"Hn."

"You're such a penis."

Sai smirked, "Unlike you, he's got one dickless." The said man, was leaning against the railing of the training grounds, his sketch pad tucked underneath his left arm.

Naruto threw a punch at the pale artist, who expertly dodged it. "Can you screw off with the dick jokes!"

"Whatever, Dickless."

"GAH , It's no use!" The fox boy proclaimed out loud, he frowned a bit when he realized that both his teammates were ignoring him. His baby blue eyes stared hard at the Uchiha's phone. _How the hell could that contraption be so entertaining?_ His was at home, being used as a paperweight for all his overdue mission reports.

"I'm going to go visit Hinata-chan!" With that, the number one knuckle head ninja was gone.

Sai looked over at Sasuke.

"Did dickless just say something?"

The Uchiha lazily shrugged his shoulders, "I think he said something about being gay."

* * *

"NO!"

_"YES!"_

"No! I refuse to walk down the street butt naked!"

Ino smacked her hand against the dresser,"Damn, there goes twenty four of my genius plans!"

Sakura looked at Ino with wide eyes, her mind didn't even want to process Ino's ridiculous plans.

"Why do your plans always involve me , stripping?"

The blond haired girl rolled her eyes like it was the simplest thing in the world , "Really forehead. It's simple math. Naked Sakura + Horny Men = Mad Sasuke."

The pink haired girl innocently shook her head, "I don't get it."

"It means he'll be so mad, that he will forget about that phone of his and pound into you all night!" TenTen screeched, as she laid down on Ino's bed.

Hinata blushed. "Panda-chan , is right."

"I. REFUSE. TO . STRIP"

"Fine, I'll think up of another plan." Ino deadpanned.

.

.

.

Sakura let out a groan when she looked at her reflection in her circle shaped compact mirror. Her long pink tresses had been played around with giving her the _" I just had some hot wild sex look"__. _Sakura's slender neck was covered with fake Hickeys that Ino had feloniously made with the use of ice and salt. The pink haired girl's white summer dress was wrinkled and torn up, some of her supple cleavage was exposed and her make up was smeared.

In total, she looked like she had just had the time of her life.

"Sasuke-kun's going to be so pissed." She thought before ringing the door bell to her house. Sakura faintly heard the steps of her husband going down the stairs. The next few seconds seemed to take forever. How ever, she was afraid of what Sasuke's reaction would be to her current appearance. A couple of seconds later, the pink haired girl was greeted with the sight of a shirtless Uchiha furiously pounding keys on his Black Berry.

He looked up at her and then looked back down at his phone, completely ignoring the shorter woman. Sakura let out a sigh and walked past her husband and into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. Sasuke hadn't noticed his wife's deformed state. The pink haired girl pulled a jar of coffee beans out of a cupboard and placed them into the coffee maker. The woman pulled a package of biscuits out of the pantry and nibbled down a piece of the delicious delight. The Uchiha matriarch closed her eyes and leaned against the counter, taking in the scent of freshly brewed coffee.

The pink haired woman felt two strong arms encircle her tiny waist and a mouth attack her neck._ "Who did that to you, Sakura?"_ The girl let out a gasp when she felt the man bite down on her warm flesh. _"Who was the man?'_

Sakura couldn't help but let a moan, when her lover found her sweet spot on her neck. A grin graced her face. "Oh. It was a very sexy man."

An angry snarl escaped from the Uchiha. "His name." Sakura let out a low giggle and turned around to face her raven haired husband.

"Hm. I'm not going to let you hurt, _my toy_, Sasuke."

"_Sasuke-kun."_ He corrected her.

"He was so talented in bed Sasuke. I hadn't felt that good in years!" Sakura knew she was pushing the onyx eyed man's buttons. Sasuke was quite the possessive type.

In a flash,Sakura found herself roughly being pushed onto her back. The cool surface of the marble counter ran shivers down her spine as Sasuke left his love bites on his pink haired wife, "Quit playing games Sakura."

Sakura let out a gasp. "How did you know that I was lying?"

"You love me to much to cheat on me."

"Cocky much?" Sakura pulled Sasuke into a heated kiss. Her inner was doing flips, since it had been three weeks since she last kissed him. The pink haired girl suddenly stopped throughout the kiss. The young woman pulled her bra back up and hid her exposed nipples from the Uchiha's eyes. Deciding that teasing the sex deprived Uchiha was more fun. The taller man grunted in disapproval.

"Ne , Sasuke-kun's been so distracted with his new phone. He forgot all about poor little Sakura-chan."

_BEEP._

Sakura turned around and poured her coffee into her "Best Doctor" mug and hopped onto the couch. Sasuke sighed and followed his pink haired lover into the living room.

"Sasuke-kun, care to explain why you were such a jerk? You left me SEXUALLY DEPRIVED! DAMN IT!"

The Uchiha smirked , he knew he was talented when it came to love making.

"I wasn't doing it on purpose , Tsundae and the elders were constantly sending me mission info, criminal whereabouts and all that other crap."

Sakura mentally slapped herself,"So you still love me?" The coffee mug in her hand was now long forgotten. The girl straddled the Uchiha.

"I always have and always will."

The emerald eyed girl smiled and pulled Sasuke into another passionate kiss.

"So there's no other man?" Sasuke questioned as he carried his wife up to their bedroom to make some hot love.

Sakura grinned. "Well there is."

Sasuke rose an elegantly arched eyebrow.

"I think you know him pretty well. He's tall , has chicken butt hair and I love him a lot. "

"Sounds like a pretty lucky guy. You have to introduce me to him." Sasuke replied as he dropped Sakura onto their bed and proceeded to strip them both of their clothes.

"Aww ,Sasuke-kun! I love you."

"I love you to, Sakura."

"FUCK ME NOW, SASUKE!"

The Uchiha could only smirk at his short tempered wife.

"Gladly."

.

.

.

_"TEME, OPEN UP! I know you're making love to my sister!" _

_"SHUT UP, NARUTO! LET SASUKE POUND INTO FOREHEAD GIRL!"_


End file.
